Vegan Jack-o-lantern

This is a vegan Jack-o-lantern. He only eats fruit!

Happy Halloween!

Tomato and onion salad with blue sheese

What better way to celebrate the robust and beautiful roma tomato, than showcasing it in a traditional tomato and onion salad? Serve with a nice hunk of crusty artisan bread and a beautiful glass of red wine.

Ingredients:

-Two ripe, firm roma tomatoes
-2 or 3 slices of red or white onion
- Good organic olive oil
- 5 year (min.) balsamic vinegar
- half a fresh lemon
- small handful of grated blue sheese
- Finely chopped green onion

Method:

1. Slice tomatoes.
2. Separate onion slices into rings.
3. Layer tomatoes and onion rings on a beautiful plate.
4. Squeeze lemon juice over top.
5. Drizzle with olive oil and balsamic vinegar.
6. Season generously with salt and pepper.
7. Gently spread grated blue sheese over top.
8. Garnish with chopped green onion.
9. Enjoy!

Vegan Condoms

While browsing at my local vegan food store Karmavore, I noticed that they sold vegan condoms. I had no idea that normal condoms were unvegan.

So what's in normal condoms that makes them unvegan? Most condoms are processed using casein, which is a protein derived from milk.

If you are a hardcore vegan, who wants their hardcore bumping and grinding to be 100% cruelty free, then check out Vegancondoms.com.

Semen Coicis Powder- WTF?

So I was doing some google sluething, trying to see if my favorite veggie bacon is still available in canada. A few hyperlinks later, I ended up at Whole Vegetarian Goods, an asian vegeterian health foods purveyor.

First off, I was suspicious of this website because this company imports food from Asia. Asian countries are not know for their rigorous or reliable food safety regulations. China, after all, was the country caught making soy sauce out of human hair (God, I hope there weren't any short and curly's in there).

This company carries vegetarian foods in chicken, beef, duck, mutton, pork and seafood flavor. I am almost positive that these foods are not vegetarian, and definitely not vegan. I just don't trust the Chinese ;)

The more worrisome of items was the coicis powder, touted as a healthy powder. Curious about what this product was and the potential benefits, I googled "coicis powder". Suddenly, links for "Semen Coicis Powder" came up.


Um...what? When did semen enter into the picture?

After clicking on some of the links, I ended up here.

The product description reads "Coix seed flour is the powdered product which using the good quality Job's tears' seeds through a process with high temperature and high pressure, and then with further processing."

Ever seen Lost In Translation? Yea. That's what's happening here.

The 'making process' reads:

"We use the advanced equipments to ripen the selected Job's tears' seeds through high temperature and high pressure ( the nutrient loss of the material can be reduced to a considerable extent through ripening process ) and then make them into powder. Then the powder will be exsiccated and sterilized at microwave production line. Finally, the products would be packed in the GMP clean-room."

I still  have no idea what the hell is going on here. I know Job's Tear's are a type of Asian grain, so that makes me hopeful that this is a vegetable based product. But that pesky word 'semen' keeps bothering me. Do plants have semen? Does this product contain plant semen?

Or is this another soy-sauce-made-out-of-human-hair fiasco waiting to happen? Ie. Coicis powder made out of frustrated Chinese businessman semen.

I don't read Chinese, so I am going to have to ask my Chinese friends to solve this mystery for me.

Either way, I don't believe I will be purchasing any 'vegetarian products' from Whole Vegetarian Foods anytime soon. The risk of semen consumption is about as high as spending a night clubbing with Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, Britney Spears and Katy Perry.

The Vegan Double Down

So, tomorrow KFC brings the coveted Double Down to Canada.

In case you are unfamiliar with the Double Down, it is "two thick and juicy boneless white meat chicken filets (Original Recipe® or Grilled), two pieces of bacon, two melted slices of Monterey Jack and pepper jack cheese and Colonel's Sauce."

I was feeling uber Indian Jones tonight, so I decided to come home and make a vegan version of the Double Down.  This is what it ended up looking like:

Here is a comparison of the nutritional information for the KFC and the Vegan Double Down:

		KFC's Double Down		Vegan Double Down		Savings
Calories		590		391		199
Fat (20%) in grams		31		25		6
Protein (20%) in grams		61		18		43
Carbohydrates (60%) in grams		11		24		-13
Sodium in miligrams		1380		595		785

For my vegan version I used President's Choice Meatless Chicken Breast Strips, Marinated Tempeh Bacon, and Daiya Cheddar replacement. I used a tbsp. of olive oil for frying.

My version saved 199 calories, 6 grams of fat, 43 grams of protein, and 785 milligrams of sodium. It also had 13 grams more carbohydrates. Aside from being much easier on the waistline than KFC's double down, the merits if this vegan dish are somewhat limited.

I didn't enjoy eating it. I was severely distressed that 100% of the products used to make it were highly processed. Even though this food adventure was animal friendly, I wouldn't make the Vegan Double Down ever again.

After eating I felt like I had swallowed several of condoms full of dry cement mix (you know, coke mule style) that had ruptured inside me, congealing my intestines into a lethargic clay snake. I was not a fan.

Is that meat in your beer, or are you just happy to see me?

Did you know what many beers and wines are produced using animal products? It's true. Many companies use gelatin, dairy, eggs etc. when filtering their products. I remember when  I first started eating vegan, I said "Thank god beer isn't made out of meat!". Oh, the bliss of naivete.

My physiotherapist (well seasoned vegan) tipped me off to a lovely little website called Barnivore. It lists vegan friendly bevvies, and you can search  by beverage type, region, and producer.

What a great resource!

Savory Harvest Stuffing

This stuffing is rich and savory. It will warm you to the core on a chilly fall day.

Ingredients:

- 1 package Yves Veggie ground round
- 1 small yellow onion, chopped
- 2 stalks celery, chopped
- 2 carrots, chopped
- 1 1/2 to 2 cups vegetable broth
- 2 tbsp. Shiro Asano Miso paste 
 - 6 slices ancient grain bread, cubed
- 2 tbsp. Earth Balance Buttery Vegan Sticks
- 1/2 cup sweetened dried cranberries
- Poultry seasoning to taste (at least 2 tbsp.)
- Salt and pepper to taste

Method:

1. Place cranberries in broth and microwave for 2 or 3 three minutes, or until cranberries are soft. Then mix in miso paste and poutry seasoning. Set aside.
2. Melt butter in large frying pan over high heat. Add ground round and saute for 2 or 3 minutes. Add diced celery, carrot and onion. Lower to medium high heat and sweat  veggies for 3 or 4 minutes.
3. Toss in bread cubes, tossing till fully incorporated.
4. Pour in broth mixture and stir until fully combined. Salt and pepper to taste. (Note: you may required more or less broth here, depending on the type of bread you use, how dry it is etc.)
5. Pour stuffing into a baking pan and cover with tinfoil. (Ideally, place in fridge overnight so that the bread can absorb the broth and all the flavors have time mingle.)
6. Bake at 375 degrees for 30 to 40 minutes. If you want a crusty top, remove the foil after the first 20 minutes.